Mo’ Monkey Mo’ Problems: Colombia must stand strongly against dog-monkey friendships

By February 22, 2018

In what might appear like a twisted parody of Noah’s Ark, a Capuchin monkey and dog have grown questionably close in Colombia. The pair found each other after the dog lost a litter of baby puppies in an unknown accident. It is hard to tell if this is a friendship which will stand the test of time, simply a rebound, or perhaps even a coping mechanism by the dog in order to deal with its recent loss.

The international media treated the primate-canine alliance with kid-gloves, gushing excessively at the unusual friendship. “A Capuchin monkey latches on to a Colombian dog’s back in a gesture of friendship, after the monkey was nursed by the hound who had recently lost its litter of puppies,” Reuters reported.

The Daily Mail also fawned over the new bosom buddies by reporting that  “[t]he monkey was removed from its natural habitat just weeks after birth, according to police in Cartagena, Columbia [sic].”

Nonetheless, the pairing represents what could be the start of something more sinister. While we may laugh, this can be considered the thin edge of the wedge. We chuckle at the sight of a relationship between a dog and a monkey but before we know it we might be faced with a plethora of animals “pairing up.” All of a sudden we have monkey dogs running around, barking from trees, throwing feces, all spawned from this unholy matrimony.

Damn, dirty friends! Film still courtesy of 20th Century Fox.

This is clearly a serious issue that must be addressed instead of shared across social media for likes and “LOLs.” We should tread with caution before the wonderful country of Colombia descends into a godless mess of Monkey Dogs, which, let’s be honest, is a slippery slope to ape/horse partnerships or perhaps worse. Stay vigilant, and if you see any monkeys and dogs getting close in public please report them to your local authorities. Colombia must stand strong if we are to get this monkey off our back.

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